ometimes it's a real challenge to come up with interesting topics for this column, and other times - like say when one of the greatest pitchers of all time is discovered to supposedly having had an affair with troubled country singer Mindy McCready - it's so I almost feel guilty for getting paid.
Which is why it's almost painful to say that I won't be writing about the scandal. Nope, not even after it turns out that Clemens also allegedly had an affair with a famous golfer's wife, which means this adulteress had John Daly and Roger nightly. I can't write about it, you see because I have something more important on my mind. My oldest daughter is getting married soon. She's 18, and if you think that's too young, don't tell me, tell her - and good luck getting through.
Anyway, it turns out I have a responsibility in this soiree beyond paying for everything and not tripping over myself as I walk her down the aisle.
I have to choose the song for the father-daughter dance. And it's turning out to be more difficult that I expected for two reasons.
1.) I get all emotionally overwhelmed listening to possible choices and imagining the big moment and that's because 2.) I want it to be perfect.
The last wedding I went to had a perfect song for the Dad-daughter dance: "You're the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me." I can't use that one though because my daughter, unlike that blushing bride, is not an only child. What am I going to dance to when her younger sister decides it's her turn to cut the cake before she cuts her wisdom teeth? "You're Pretty Good Too, I Reckon"?
I think I've got it narrowed down to two choices, "In My Life" by The Beatles and "Eighteen Yellow Roses" by Bobby Darin. I can't make up my mind because I was kinda hoping for a country song, and the only country version I can find of "In My Life" is by Johnny Cash, and that version was from late in his career when he was not singing more like talking and dancing to that would be like dancing to a dirge. There is a country version of "Eighteen Yellow Roses" by the Texas Tornados, but it's almost 5 minutes in length, which seems like a long time for us to hog the spotlight.
And something about "Eighteen Yellow Roses" bothers me. And it's not just the reminder that 18 is too young to get married. I think it's the last line: "Eighteen yellow roses will wilt and die someday / But a father's love will never fade away." Since the roses symbolize the groom's affections, it's like I'm minimizing them at best, hexing them at worst. (It's also possible I'm overthinking this.)
So, I'm appealing to you for help. If you have any thoughts or suggestions about what would be the perfect song for a father-daughter wedding dance, please e-mail me at email@example.com. And thank you.