ood evening, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first ever Hammy Award Ceremony, where tonight we pay tribute to worst country and western video of all time.
And the winner is: "Tell Me I Was Dreaming" by Travis Tritt.
Several factors contribute to make this three-minute muddle particularly putrid. First off, it's a sequel to Tritt's earlier video "Anymore." A sequel is an admission from a creator that he has run completely out of ideas and is reduced to ripping off himself. There's no logical reason why this should be a sequel; the two songs have absolutely nothing in common. Maybe Tritt just enjoys riding around in a wheelchair.
Worse than that though is the fact this video has nothing to do with the song. As you know, the lyrics go "You didn't say you don't love me anymore. It was just my imagination running wild. Tell me that you didn't say good-bye."
Everyone who has ever heard this song knows that the women left the singer - everyone except the director of this claptrap. In the video, the woman (pregnant, of course, as these schlockmeisters don't miss a trick) slips on a pier and is killed. As in dead.
Every time I see this mindless mini-movie, I want to say, "Travis, you were dreaming. She didn't say she didn't love you anymore. What she actually said was "WHOOPS!"
But you're not dreaming about winning the Hammy award.
(Got a problem with any of this? Know of a - gag! - worse video? Write me in care of CST or electronically at Sir_Galahad@Juno.com)