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Not Exactly "To Be or Not To Be"

Country Musings by Robert Loy, December 1996

"Take These Chains From My Heart" from Avon Books is a collection of quotations from country and western musicians, sort of a redneck Bartlett's. The first reaction of a typical country music fan upon seeing this work is "Wow, I wonder how come nobody thought of this before."

Then after dipping into it, and perusing such banal observations as "The power of music. It's really amazing what it can do, isn't it?" (from Faith Hill), or any of Lorrie Morgan's self-absorbed remarks re her constantly-broken heart, it dawns on you that there aren't many Oscar Wildes or George Bernard Shaws in Nashville.

Still there are some interesting quotations in here. See if you can match the following epigrams with the person that uttered it.

1. "I always felt more like Gomer (Pyle) than a sex symbol."
2. "If we could all sing the way we wanted to we would all sound like George Jones."
3. "I looked up and there were buzzards circling my career."
4. "I still take out the trash at home...and clean up when the dog pees on the floor."
5."I may be a mother, but I still like to party."
6. "PMS ain't nothing compared to going on a diet."
7. "I'm pretty much your basic ugly redneck."
8. "I gotta get drunk and I sure do dread it."
9. "I've been to jail just four times, and I was under the influence of Merle Haggard each one."
10. "I don't know where my movie career is going. I'm prepared to do anything, even nude scenes - but only with Gene Hackman, and with Mrs. Hackman far away."

A. Mark Chesnutt
B. Alan Jackson
C. Waylon Jennings
D. Tracy Lawrence
E. Willie Nelson
F. K.T. Oslin
G. Dolly Parton
H. Roger Miller
I. Tanya Tucker
J. Marty Stuart

Answers 1-B, 2-C, 3-H, 4-D, 5-I, 6-G, 7-A, 8-E, 9-J, 10-F