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Arpeggio - Wasn't he that wooden puppet with the nose that kept growing?

Country Musings by Robert Loy, July 2000

No doubt about it, country music has gotten much more sophisticated in the last few years. But somehow perceptions about country musicians and country fans has not kept pace. We keep hearing the same jokes about what you get when you play a country song backwards and about the flea that couldn't get out of Willie Nelson's beard.

While in theory we here at Country Musings deplore this snobbish attitude, we must admit we enjoyed the following:

Musical Terms Frequently Misunderstood by Country and Western Musicians

Diminished Fifth - An empty bottle of Jack Daniels

Perfect Fifth - A full bottle of Jack Daniels

Big Band - When the bar pays enough to bring two banjo players

Pianissimo - "Refill this beer bottle"

Repeat - What you do until they just expel you

Treble - What women ain't nothin' but

Tempo - Good choice for a used car

Transpositions - Men who wear dresses

Sharps - What a wimp gets at the bar

Passing Tone - Frequently heard near the baked beans at family barbecues

Middle C - The only fruit drink you can afford when food stamps are low

Perfect Pitch - The smooth coating on a freshly paved road

Cadenza - That ugly piece of furniture your wife always vacuums dog hair off of when company comes

Whole Note - What's due after failing to pay the mortgage for a year

Clef - What you try never to fall off of

Bass Clef - Where you wind up if you do fall off

Melodic Minor - Loretta Lynn's singing dad

Sonata - What you get from a bad cold or hay fever

Clarinet - Name used on your second daughter if you've already used Betty Jo

Bassoon - Typical response when asked what you hope to catch, and when

French Horn - Your wife says you smell like a cheap one when you come in at 4 a.m.

Bossa Nova - The car your foreman drives

Staccato - How you did all the ceilings in your mobile home

Aeolian Mode - How you like Mama's cherry pie

Bach Chorale - The place behind the barn where you keep the horses

Editor's note: some of the above information was taken from the web wherean author was not credited.